they aren't sending monkeys into space anymore

My little Sydney turned 3 months last week, its strange to me that 3 short months ago I had never met her, now that she is here it feels like there was never a time when she wasn't. Jacob and I are so happy to have this beautiful little girl in our lives and having her here feels so natural.

The things Sydney loves to do

she loves to sleep! (Mommy loves that Sydney loves to sleep)

she loves to talk, I cant believe how much she has to say.

she loves to suck her hand, she is hilarious when she goes after it.

she loves to yell at the toys that hang above her on her play mat.

she loves to snuggle with her mommy and daddy.

(Mommy and Sydney at Logans preschool graduation)

(Daddy and his smiley girl)

On sat Jacob celebrated his 28th birthday and we went out on our first real date since before Sydney was born, we went to the movies for free since we had some passes, then we picked up a box of free doughnuts from Krispy kream, then we went out to dinner with a gift card for $20 and a coupon for $5 off a purchase of $25 or more and awesome aunt Elspeth babysat for free too so our whole date cost $9!!

I had to get a summer job to make ends meet, I work at Sunsplash in their new summer camp program, its such a great program for kids during the summer. you can do a half day or a whole day, you can pay for a week or just drop the kids off last min. The coolest part (to me) is that in the morning they open the park to the kids to play before the general public is allowed in so the kids can go down slides over and over again and play in pools all they want, plus they can do laser tag and/or mini golf while they are there, and while they are inside they have arcade games that are free so the kids can play them nonstop! They provide 2 snacks and lunch during the day, they have tons of games, computers for the kids to use and lots of space to play, it is freakin awesome! This week alone I will be working at 3 different places. Its going to be a little crazy!

(sydney and Elliott, they are one day apart and buds!)

Brittany Herron and I have decided we are going to have a weekly mommy date, I am super excited to have a day to spend time socializing with my old friends once a week and hope we keep up on it, so if there are any mommys out there that want to join call or text me and we will all have a blast!

Why its great to be overweight!

We live in a word where unfortunately we (mostly women) are judged by pounds and I often see people fall into a sort of despair when they start to see the numbers go up on the scale. I admit that even I get a little depressed too, but then I pick myself up and remember why its great to be overweight!

Reason #1 of why its great to be overweight! when I sluurp down that Dr. Pepper or have that piece of cake I don't feel guilty, just like I don't feel guilty eating a chicken brest with some celery. Food isn't just fuel, its a joy of life, so I'm going to enjoy it!

Reason #2 of why its great to be over weight! I don't waste my time complaining about how fat I look, I am overweight! I know how I look!

Reason #3 of why its great to be overweight! extra pounds don't make me less! they make me more!

The pure and simple truth is my value doesn't go down based on the number the scale says, or the size of my jeans! I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father and he doesn't think less of me based on my weight, so often I hear people obsessing over weight and not in that "I can do it! I can lose it!" kind of way, they do it in " I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm worthless" kind of way. Somehow women have got it in their heads that if they gain weight they are no longer desirable, well today my scale said 194.8 and I don't have any doubt that I AM LOVED! I'm not judged on how good I look in a mini skirt, I know that people like me for the person I am. don't forget, a long time ago I would have been considered a Greek goddess!

NOW! go look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are beautiful, and that you are loved, and thank the Lord for your amazing body! Then go enjoy a desert!

“Madziso haana hurombo” Translated, “The eyes know no poverty.”

I have a new love! Window shopping and day dreaming. I am finding that I actually enjoy going to a store, looking at all there stuff and walking out with noting in my hands. Today I went to Hobby Lobby and didn't even bring my purse in so that way I wouldn't be tempted. This may not be fun for everyone though, but for me I feel like I get to go out and shop, I get to day dream about where I would put this or that, and when I window shop I fit into a size six :) and the only thing I had to pay for was the gas that got me there. Yesterday I was watching a church video that said we should ignore the urges of the world that tell us we need instant gratification, I need to remember that being able to afford food is a huge blessing that people all over the world don't have. So I will happily look and not spend, I will have a pleasant day dream about something and walk away then I will walk out of the store guilt free having not spent one cent.

If you don't like window shopping I urge you to find a new appreciation for it. :)

So I am puttting it out there!

Ok so this months post is about the new and exciting adventures Jacob and I are about to undertake. By the 9th of next month Jacob and I will be moved into a home, at the moment it is still kind of a dump but by the end of the month it will be a lovely little home to raise a family in and speaking of family I am 12 weeks into starting it! Thats right im 12 weeks pregnant today!!!! We are so excited about taking these big steps! I cant wate to take some pictures of the house so that everyone can see it. I might need my friend Kylie to come over and give me some decorating tips because I dont know what im going to do with all that space.
I am actually thinking of opening my home a few mornings and evenings for babysitting, I really want to give moms (or dads) the chance to go to the grocery store , to a dr.'s appt, or the temple, maybe even a movie without children. I'm thinking I would keep the cost fairly low since I'm beginning to learn that in the economy that your more likely to get business if you offer something for less. I will post more about it once I work out all the kinks.

This is what iv been feeling these last 12 weeks:
excitement
exhaustion
hunger
nausea
pure joy
gassy
pinched nerves
cramping
and lots of pressure in my abdomen

nothing new

I know that I haven't blogged in a really long time, I feel like my life isn't exciting enough to waste my time writing a blog about it. I will keep this blog simple and short and just give a small update about our summer so far, early in the summer Jacob and I went to Snowflake and had a fantastic time, Jacob loved getting away and would not stop talking about moving there (it will never happen) it was nice to get away and we really enjoyed our short stay. Thank you Smiths for letting us use your cabin!

In June I drove up to Utah with B to go to Jessica's wedding, I was her maid of honor and was so flattered that she asked me to play such a big role in her wedding. I got to spend a lot of time with my old friend Mallory and kind of reconnect it was fun to find out what was going on in her life. Jessica was absolutely radiant! Her hair and makeup were perfect and the dress was so lovely, I had a hard time not crying as she walked down the isle, I think Jordan was in awe of her. Because I was the maid of honor I was able to give a speech and I'd like to hope that Jessica and Jordan were really moved by it.

I had my birthday on the 5th of July but I didn't do anything because Jacob was sick we stayed home all day and I catered to him, oh! we did get to spend the morning going to urgent care! what a fun day! I did get an early present that thrilled me though!

On the 6th of July I flew to CA to work/play with the family I nanny for. I went from 115 degree weather to 60 degree weather, it was so lovely! I played at the beach, took lots of lovely walks and enjoyed my time with my nanny family. My boss absolutely spoiled me and paid for all of my food, a manni and petti, and invited me to be in family pictures.

A lot of really exciting things happened so far this summer but one of those things by far is Jacob and I will be moving into a house next month! its a 2 story 3 bedroom 2 1/2 bath, we are going to be renting it from my mom and her partner, we cant stop talking about it! we have so many ideas for it! Now all my out of town friends ( who never come over anyway) will have somewhere to stay and i'll have a place for my sewing projects!

So that is whats happening so far! i'll try and be better and post at least once a month from now on, and i'll keep you updated on the house and our move in date!

I heart my new couch!

Like many young couples Jacob and I have hand-me-down furniture, I honestly don't mind one little bit. Its cheap or free, but used furniture is just that, USED and usually reaching the end of its life cycle if someone is just giving it to you for free. Well our couch was reaching the end of its life cycle, it was a big leather sectional that had belonged to my grandparents and was at least 15/20 years old. well that couch had a rip in the seat so big that I could fit my foot through it, so I started searching craigslist, I found one that night asking $75 for this little lovely!

It had been originally posted for closer to $300 but she was moving and as the time drew closer to the moving date the price moved down and down until last week Jacob and I picked it up for $50! I took it to my parents garage and steam cleaned it (twice, b/c it really needed it!) now its sitting in our living room being loved by us! It is so beautiful and comfortable! both sides recline (which Jacob loves!) and the couch is one solid peace, which means no cushions coming off (which I love). I do want to say fair well to our old couch, it was comfortable and provided seating for all of our guests and for all of our crap! good bye!

Just wanted to blog to let everyone know what's going on with me. I got the last week off and was able to hang out for 9 straight days, it was so wonderful that I considered quitting my job and doing nothing for a living, but instead I interviewed for a second job and was hired on! I will be working with a family who have a 15 month old down syndrome daughter. I am actually pretty excited to spend time with a sweet little girl, with a sweet little spirit and who doesn't have a sassy little mouth. In all honesty I'm actually really excited to have a little extra income every month.
This week is Jacob's spring break so he has been spending his mornings sleeping in, playing video games, and talking about how he may never go back to school (he will be back next Mon.).
recently I was called to be a teacher in Relief Society and will be teaching for the first time on Sunday, I am completely Nervous! I have been sick all week and have gotten almost nothing accomplished on my lesson, so i think Sunday's lesson is going to be pretty awful! Please wish me luck that I don't tank.

Why I never Blog

Jacob and I were "borrowing" the Internet for the last several months, it was a wonderful time full of downloads and browsing, now we no longer enjoy our free connection to the web so until we get Internet back I will be Blogging even more infrequently then I already was.

I AM LOSEING MY MIND, ITS CHRISTMAS TIME!

ITS CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which is the most wonderful time of the year and i'll fight any one who says otherwise! I have my tree up, I am about 50% done with my shopping I just need to finish cleaning and decorating and finish all of my sewing projects and I will be ready for a beautiful Christmas!Also if anyone is interested I make and sell these apples, they can be used as heating pads or as ice packs and a set of 3 is $10, they are a perfect gift for children because they can be used as a toy and for first aid they are also a great gift for teachers since they are in the shape of apples and once again they can be used for first aid
I also make these Catch-all Baskets, this one has a cute vintage look but I can make it just about any size or shape.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!

anxiety and depression

Where to start? I suffer with both anxiety and depression, of the 2 I prefer anxiety and here is why: recently my mother Helen was talking the her brother Mark and he was telling her that his son wan missing classes and his excuse for this was fear, nervousness, and an ill feeling. My uncle said he thought his son was just being lazy (I may be misquoting) but one thing my mom said was for sure is that my uncle thought it was a load of crap. Helen was quick to tell him that I had been suffering with anxiety for years and in fact it is very real and can be very serious, once he had been informed that it is likely to be genetic and that a close blood relative suffered with the same thing he was more open to the reality that this might be genuine, so he asked Helen how I treated it (medically) Helen answered back that I treat it with good self esteem and nothing else! This answer in this day and age I feel is mostly unheard of for several reasons, we live in a time where we are lucky enough to have helpful medications that help keep our minds and bodies on track if we are consistent and willing to put in a little effort, or a less positive outlook is that we live in a society that says "It's not your fault" you are not responsible for your actions and feelings so you are free to do whatever you like. let me give a brief description of anxiety for anyone who has no idea what it feels like, its feeling physically sick, its fear in your mind and down in the pit of your stomach its stress with or without a cause. Have you ever had a test you didn't study for, or a job interview that was extremely important and felt any or all of these things? My friend once told me that his brother-in-law would have serious anxiety before every football game. Now imagine having those sick nasty stressful feelings about going to work, about going to church, about Thursday, about ANYTHING! Most people understand this feeling because they have felt parts of it before, but I have it all the time! Over nothing. In fact I have it now, but the difference between me and most is what I choose to do with this feeling, and I choose to do absolutely nothing. I do not let this feeling rule me, I HAVE to be responsible I CAN NOT sit at home all day and ignore my responsibilities because I don’t feel good, I know what I'm dealing with so I deal with it.

Depression can be a lot like anxiety for me because it happens suddenly and often without cause, I don’t hate being depressed because it happens rarely and I feel strongly that in order to understand what it's really like to be happy and kind you have to understand what it's like to be truly and genuinely sad and unkind. A few years ago I was living in Utah and going to a small school called LDSBC at one point I started having some pretty serious depression so I spent a lot of time alone and stopped being my friendly outgoing self. For some reason this really bugged my roommates, in their defense I had let depression get to me and it was winning out over school and cleaning and everything else. So finally my roommate decided she'd had it with me and wanted to know what my problem was, I told her I was just sad so she asked me why and I answered honestly that I didn’t know why, that answer was NOT ok so she pressed me and pressed me for a reason that I did not have saying that I couldn’t be sad without a reason, I asked her if it was possible to be happy without a reason and of course her answer was yes, my answer would have been yes, I'm happy all the time without a reason, but this time I was sad without a reason and she did not approve which made me even more depressed. Being sad is not what I dislike so much, although I choose to be happy most of the time I'm okay with being sad. What I dislike about it is that I give myself a free pass to be mean, I tell myself it's okay, but I know it's not and it makes my heart even more sad then it was. At the moment I'm having a little depression, all I wanted to do all day was lay down, I just needed to lay down and sleep so when I finally got my chance to do that very thing of course all I could do was lie awake with my mind buzzing and listen to Jacobs passive aggressive snoring. UGG! I QUIT!! How's that for a positive outlook.

I LOVE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HAVE TO! I DON'T WANNA!

I love a clean home, but I HATE CLEANING!!!!!! Let me just put that out there before I write this blog. Any one that knows me or has known me since high school knows what a disaster I'm willing to live in if it means avoiding cleaning. But now that I'm a nanny/house keeper, a married woman and I live in my own place it means I clean and CLEAN AND CLEAN AND CLEAN!!! It feels like its all I do and I know its only going to get worse. I need to take some kind of course on how to clean and organize and how to keep it that way FOREVER! Or I need to hire a maid of my own! Elizabeth! Jessica! wont you please come clean and organize for me! or my mommy! I guess what makes me crazy is I clean everyday, but my house is never clean! how does that work? I dont know when the last time I made my bed was! this is stressful!

Blog Stalker

I think I have a problem! I cant even tell you how much time I spend flipping though new and different Blogs envying the cuteness of others and coveting their ideas! I want the money and space they have to do all their amazing crafts. So if you know of a blog you think I just have to see post a comment so I can continue my stalking!

vote on my new style!

Hey everybody! go to http://kaddysdrama.blogspot.com/ and pick my new DO!

Hand bags

My mother has been telling me not to put my purse on her counter tops as long as I can remember, Now that I live away from her I'm glad she taught me that lesson because i rarely set my purse on my own counter. One thing I have never done is set my purse on a bathroom floor! It horrifies me when ever I see a purse on a bathroom floor, but its even more horrifying when its a brand name, like a LV or a Burberry or a Coach, shouldn't people know better?

HANDBAGS

Have you ever noticed girls who set their handbags on public toilet floors, then go directly to their dining tables and set it on the table? Happens a lot!
It's not always the 'restaurant food' that causes stomach distress. Sometimes 'what you don't know will hurt you'!

Read on................
Mom got so upset when guests came in the door and plopped their handbags down on the counter where she was cooking or setting up food. She always said that handbags are really dirty, because of where they have been.

It's something just about every woman carries with them. While we may know what's inside our handbags, do you have any idea what's on the outside? Women carry handbags everywhere; from the office to public toilets to the floor of the car. Most women won't be caught without their handbags, but did you ever stop to think about where your handbag goes during the day.

'I drive a school bus, so my handbag has been on the floor of the bus a lot,' says one woman. On the floor of my car, and in toilets.'

'I put my handbag in grocery shopping carts and on the floor of the toilet,' says another woman 'and of course in my home which should be clean.'

We decided to find out if handbags harbor a lot of bacteria... We learned how to test them at Nelson Laboratories in Salt Lake, and then we set out to test the average woman's handbag.

Most women told us they didn't stop to think about what was on the bottom of their handbag. Most said at home they usually set their handbags on top of kitchen tables and counters where food is prepared.
Most of the ladies we talked to told us they wouldn't be surprised if their handbags were at least a little bit dirty.

It turns out handbags are so surprisingly dirty, even the microbiologist who tested them was shocked.

Microbiologist Amy Karen of Nelson Labs says nearly all of the handbags tested were not only high in bacteria, but high in harmful kinds of bacteria....

Pseudomonas can cause eye infections
Staphylococcus aurous can cause serious skin infections
And salmonella and e-coli found on the handbags could make people very sick

In one sampling, four of five handbags tested positive for salmonella, and that's not the worst of it. 'There is fecal contamination on the handbags' says Amy. Leather or vinyl handbags tended to be cleaner than cloth handbags, and lifestyle seemed to play a role.

People with kids tended to have dirtier handbags than those without, with one exception.

The handbag of one single woman who frequented nightclubs had one of the worst contamination's of all. 'Some type of feces, or possibly vomit' says Amy.

So the moral of this story is that your handbag won't kill you, but it does have the potential to make you very sick if you keep it on places where you eat. Use hooks to hang your handbag at home and in toilets, and don't put it on your desk, a restaurant table, or on your kitchen counter top.

Experts say you should think of your handbag the same way you would a pair of shoes. 'If you think about putting a pair of shoes on your counter tops, that's the same thing you're doing when you put your handbag on the counter tops.'

Your handbag has gone where individuals before you have walked, sat, sneezed, coughed, spat, urinated, emptied bowels, etc!

Do you really want to bring that home with you?

The microbiologists at Nelson also said cleaning a handbag will help. Wash cloth handbags and use leather cleaner to clean the bottom of leather handbags.

Eight years ago today. I was a Sr. in high school getting ready for school, as I was walking into my loft area my younger brother Adam ran up the stares and told me that a plane had flown into the twin towers, obviously I was a little confused so I casually walked down stairs to see what he was talking about. I saw it for the first time one building on fire and shock and sadness hit, I like many assumed that this pilot had lost control or gotten confused and ran into a tall building, but a few moments later another plane crashed into the second tower. I sat there watching in horror as both buildings fell down, as another plain crashed into the Pentagon and another into a wooded area. During and after the attack I sobbed for the broken families, 3 buildings full of innocent people, 4 plains full of innocent passengers, and a world full of people whose lives and history had been changed forever. Last year I promised myself that I would not let another Sep. 11th go unnoticed. I will NEVER forget!

We gave blood today

Today Jacob and I gave blood, the last time we did it I just woke up and gave blood. I didn't eat in advance and I maybe had one cup of water before we got there, I gave all of my blood and walked out the door feeling great! That was NOT the case today! Before Jacob and I went to donate we went out for a nice lunch and I drank a lot of water. I felt fine sitting in my reclining chair squeezing my PVC pipe but the second I got out of that chair I felt a little dizzy, I walked over to get my free cookies but felt like I was going to

A: Throw up

B: Pass out

or C: fall over from spinning dizziness

plus I was very hot!

All I could think about on the way to a chair was HURRY and sit down so you don't pass out in a puddle of your own vomit, I was lucky and i made it there on time, but I am also unlucky b/c they said all those side effects would dissipate in about 15 min but I'm still having them, oh and the arm they took the blood from still really hurts. I am still dizzy and nauseous from time to time. I am especially dizzy right now, so I am going to end this post.

Homework Time

So now that Jacob has started school I spend a lot of time sitting quietly while he does his homework, I really want him to do well so I try not to distract him to much. I'll do things like clean the house, read my scriptures, work out, or sleep, but tonight I dont want to do any of the stuff so i'll blog. I am just so proud of him right now! he is such a good provider. He works a full time job pays the bills, is takeing 7 credits worth of classes and still makes the time to be the best husband ever. Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not doing as much as him but he never makes me feel bad about it, he's always happy to her about my low key days, he's never upset when our house is a mess or when I forget to do his laundry. I love him so much! I guess the least I can do is be quiet and stay out of his way while he does his homework, and I know I'm the whole reason hes doing it anyway.

Jacob loves pillows

Jacob has this weird need to put a pillow over his belly when ever he sits down, its slightly strange so it does bother me a little. Today he took it kind of far and surrounded himself with pillows. What is he hideing from? Its a good thing I love him!

A little bit of everything

This is my 26th Birthday, I let Jacob buy me a huge balloon and it made me exteremely happy
Victoria bought me this beautiful cake
Here are my 2 home made Birthday treats. These Rice krispis treats.

Here is my nightmare of a cake! it tasted awful!!!! plus it was completly jimmy rigged! we had no candles so my mom put a cup cake wrapper in the corner and called it a "party hat" and my dad scribbled happy birthday in caramel ice cream topper. worst cake ever!!!
Snowflake!

Jacob loves beads!

In Utah